You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
