My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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