Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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