I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Randomize
