I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
