I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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