never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
