she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
