I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
