Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
My vagina just clenched in fear
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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