I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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