yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
