if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I didn't notice because vodka
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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