Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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