I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
