this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
