Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
