Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
