do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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