Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
