there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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