Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
