I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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