I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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