found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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