Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
