I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
