did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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