It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
