a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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