it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize
