I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
