I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
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