I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
It's not a walk of shame if you run
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
