My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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