you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
