Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i dont even know how to be here
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
