Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
