My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
