I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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