that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
