6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
