We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Randomize
