I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
