You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
