i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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