you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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