I feel like I'm in dance class right now
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
