I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
3 2 1 whiskey
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
