shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
